who are you?
May 6, 2007
I have been thinking a lot about the T S Elliot quote “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go”…
This is all a big challenge for me, but I have two choices really. 1) I can bewail it and feel like a victim or 2) I can assume that my husband is meant to be my husband and is helping me adventure into places i would not go on my own initiative, and assume that is something to thank him for.
In the name of intimacy and comittment, both to marriage and to life itself, I choose option number two.
And in the name of intimacy and commitment, before I write any more, I am wondering who you are, readers. I don’t need names or any identifiers, I just want to know why you are here.
My blog stats suggest to me that a lot of the traffic this blog gets is ‘mistaken’ as far as I am concerned: people searching for bdsm porn etc. If that is all, then I would rather make this a private journal. But if there is someone out there genuinely sharing in this who would really like to keep sharing the journey, then that makes it worthwhile to keep writing in this form. So. I’m going to wait for comments before I write more. If you want your comment to remain confidential, just start your comment with the word ‘confidential’ and I will then read and take note of your comment but delete it afterwards, not publish it. Okay?
All for now. Love to all of you, even the porn surfers -x-
I’m in a similar situation, but reversed. My wife wants me to be the dom, so she can be the sub, and it’s not something that I’m naturally interested in. There was a time that she was seeking these things through other men over the internet (email, IM, text message, etc.), and I had to intervene on behalf of our marriage. I love my wife, but sometimes I don’t like the things that she wants. I read your blog to see how things go for you, and in the hope that maybe you’ll see something valuable that I haven’t.
I have no idea how I found this blog.
My g/f of the last 18 months is a sub, and as such I’ve had to discover (or admit) my “dom”.
We’re not so much in to the inflicting pain aspects of that relationship, but that is occasionally a part of it, when it is felt that she needs punishing or reminding of her commitments. This is usually on a signal from her. Interestingly, the sub holds a lot of power in the relationship; if she doesn’t want something to happen, then it doesn’t. However, when something does, then she has to trust me to stop, especially to stop without being asked.
I too am therefore discovering much about this sort of relationship, and have enjoyed reading of your own journey.