…and Decision
April 15, 2007
The decision is made. For better or worse, he is going, and I am staying home. He is on strict ‘just look don’t touch’ orders and I … deep breath… believe I can trust him to stick to that.
I am nervous as hell. You know it really helps that I am doing this blog. I can’t tell any of my friends or family. But if I ever needed someone to chat to, it’s now. Z is great, but you know, I honestly don’t tell him more than the barest minimum. He’s a priest, dammit. He doesn’t need that woman behind his eyes too.
With things like this, you really want to sit down with a girlfriend for a solid hour over a strong cappuccino with a double grappa on the side. I just can’t do that. Not with this. And a secret diary never feels like you’ve truly told someone.
So. Thanks. Right now, invisible as you all are, you feel like blessed company in a dark and peculiar time.
This Saturday night we will find out what he’s made of. Sunday night I will tell you how it went.
The one thing helping me keep things in perspective is how nervous he is. It’s so sweet – for the first time ever, I am seeing him all girly – honey, he doesn’t have a thing to wear!
